it's 2009

I can't believe that it's really 2009. It seems like it just was 2008.... and I was ringing in the New Year in Portland surrounded by friends, champagne, and confetti. If you had told me that I would be living in Everett, working at Philips, and single in one year, I probably wouldn't have believed it.
But I'm constantly reminded at how quickly things can change. People change... circumstances change... desires change... dreams change.

I have such anticipation for this coming year. I feel like my life is settling into place, that I'm going to achieve my dreams and that I actually have goals and concrete plans for once. (but of course, those might change!) Yet it feels good to have something to work towards, but without the feeling of always waiting for the "next thing" to happen.

Am I in my dream job? No. But it will be the means to achieving that end someday. Do I live in my dream city? No. But for now I can experience what I can, enjoy where I'm at, never losing sight of bigger and better things.

I am very much a dreamer; but somehow, sometimes, I also just give up because I tend to have a fatalistic view that "if I don't try, then I can't fail". That I am trying to change. There are so many other areas of my life I am willing to take risks, even foolish ones, but somehow the "big" things I don't.

This, this, is one thing I am going to be willing to do this year. I don't like to make resolutions, but I am going to try to always keep this thought close to heart this year:

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure"
---Helen Keller

I also just got this other one from my coworker:

"If not you, who?
If not now, when?"