it can be a good thing to get frustrated... it can lead to inspiration and trying just a little harder.
i tend to be lazy sometimes, because i've never had to try at anything in my life. i breezed through school, i somehow have crazy good luck with jobs, friends, cars, and life in general. "luck" i dont know if i believe in it... but i have been blessed. :)
the other day, something completely unrelated set me off into a frustrated, overwhelming feeling of incompetance, of my music being not good enough nor ever being good enoug. but i had a good conversation with a friend who helped to center me again, and remind me that no matter what i might feel about myself, i need to realize that my art, if it is a true reflection of how i am feeling, is good. it might not be what other people say is "good enough", but it is a way for me to express myself and share my soul with others.
i'm not giving up, i'm still going forward. it feels so good to put things down on paper and to create something.
now to just get over the insecurities. does that ever happen?
Friday, July 17, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
things beyond my control
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
i try to not be discontent in my life, i try to be happy with where i'm at, and i think i've been doing a pretty good job.
but i'm also a dreamer. i'm always thinking of bigger, better things, and what i would rather be doing. (than sitting at a desk in a hole of a cubicle in basking in the harsh glow of florescent lights) yes, i know that just sounded extremely bitter, but i'm getting a little tired of the corporate life. i used to think that i could be that girl in the high heels, suit, and coffee in hand every day waltzing into a office, happily tapping away at the keyboard, holding meetings, and working late just to get ahead. but i'm not so sure anymore.
ever since i started playing music again, i've realized it's THAT that makes me truly happy. the creative process, as painful as it can be, the performances, the sweat, the lack of sleep, the frustrations, all of it is worth it. i LOVE music, it is my passion, my soul.
i'm also realistic, but i've got to just go for it, go for my dreams. or i will always regret not trying.
more to come....
but i'm also a dreamer. i'm always thinking of bigger, better things, and what i would rather be doing. (than sitting at a desk in a hole of a cubicle in basking in the harsh glow of florescent lights) yes, i know that just sounded extremely bitter, but i'm getting a little tired of the corporate life. i used to think that i could be that girl in the high heels, suit, and coffee in hand every day waltzing into a office, happily tapping away at the keyboard, holding meetings, and working late just to get ahead. but i'm not so sure anymore.
ever since i started playing music again, i've realized it's THAT that makes me truly happy. the creative process, as painful as it can be, the performances, the sweat, the lack of sleep, the frustrations, all of it is worth it. i LOVE music, it is my passion, my soul.
i'm also realistic, but i've got to just go for it, go for my dreams. or i will always regret not trying.
more to come....
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