things beyond my control

i try to not be discontent in my life, i try to be happy with where i'm at, and i think i've been doing a pretty good job.

but i'm also a dreamer. i'm always thinking of bigger, better things, and what i would rather be doing. (than sitting at a desk in a hole of a cubicle in basking in the harsh glow of florescent lights) yes, i know that just sounded extremely bitter, but i'm getting a little tired of the corporate life. i used to think that i could be that girl in the high heels, suit, and coffee in hand every day waltzing into a office, happily tapping away at the keyboard, holding meetings, and working late just to get ahead. but i'm not so sure anymore.

ever since i started playing music again, i've realized it's THAT that makes me truly happy. the creative process, as painful as it can be, the performances, the sweat, the lack of sleep, the frustrations, all of it is worth it. i LOVE music, it is my passion, my soul.

i'm also realistic, but i've got to just go for it, go for my dreams. or i will always regret not trying.

more to come....